While I was away…

Dh and K had a great time together.

Day 1 – K got his first pet; guppies
It took a bit of convincing from dh that he did not need to open the tank or put hands in the tank to get up close and personal with the fish, and the fish did not really fancy being ‘scooped’ up by the net all the time.

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Day 2 – Zoo and ‘Macdolder’ (Macdonald’s) with dad and grandma

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Day 3 – K and dh were on their way to the car when they spotted a cat stucked in a tree. K was absolutely thrilled by the sight of it and told the cat, “Cat come down.”

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Dh single handedly went swimming with K (without the helper), taught him how to hold his breath, while dunking his head at the water spurt. K then went on to dunk his head at every water spurt at the pool.

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When father and son went for lunch together after their swim. K ordered his own food for the first time and assertively told the waiter he wanted to have spaghetti.

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Day 4 – K scouted around for a pair of kid’s sunglasses with dh and grandma. While waiting for his turn to play the toy at ELC, he got quite upset when another child hogged the toy and refused to share with him. He then tripped and hit his head on the shelf.

I still cannot figure out how the accident happened, thank goodness it was not a serious injury. Anyhow, K ended up with 3 new aeroplanes from ELC which helped to alleviate the ‘trauma’ he experienced.

Overall, I think dh did a good job and I noticed that K is closer to him, after spending so much time together these few days. When I asked dh how it was taking care of K these couple of days, dh made is sound like it was such a breeze.

I suppose it is just the ego talking.

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Father and son time

This coming week will be the first time (in 9 months since I left my full time job), that I will be away from K for a few days. Dh will be taking leave from work to spend time with K. I am glad to know that father and son will be spending some ‘male bonding’ time together, yet, at the same time can’t help but feel a little worried about not being around for K.

To satisfy my ‘anal tendencies’ (according to dh), he has asked me to draft out a schedule for him to follow. I have told him that setting up schedules with a toddler is fundamentally useless, especially when it comes to playtime. But I have anyway, wrote out a long list of activities that dh can keep k busy with, including routines that he can refer to.

Daily routines have to be established, but activities are usually child-initiated. If I want K to do a certain activity, his attention span will last the most 10-15 minutes, unless it is something that he is interested in exploring for the day.

I suppose dh will just do what he is best at…bring K out and tire him out with outdoor activities. It seems that a visit to the zoo, swimming and taking the LRT/MRT, are just some of the morning activities dh have planned for K.

Anyhow, while I was typing the activities out in a list, I realised that K spends quite a bit of time in front of the TV:
12.00 p.m. – 1.15 p.m. – Lunchtime TV/DVD time
4.45 p.m – 6.45 p.m. – Evening google box time with Playhouse disney
7.30 p.m. – 8.30 p.m. – Dinnertime TV (usually watching whatever I watch)

That’s a total of 4 hours and 15 mins or more, in front of the television everyday! So I have highlighted to dad that he needs to cut down on his TV time when he is with K, as he has a tendency to be a couch potato (which is his form of relaxation) at home. There have been times when I get dh to babysit K for a few hours in the morning/evening, I always return to dh with his eyes glued to the TV and K is sitting right next to him/tumbling on the bed/turning the room upside down, while dad has his eyes still glued to the box.

I really hope k does not become a coach potato when I am back on Friday…

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Musings: Choices

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‘Choose’ by Andy Yamashiro

I met a group of good friends last night for dinner and the key discussion topics were about marriage and children. Among them, I am the only one does not have a full time job. The majority have only one child (except for one who just got married end last year and taking her time), and don’t plan to have any in the near future. It was nice to be with like-minded friends who don’t bombard me with questions like, ‘Why not have another one, since you are a SAHM mom with help somemore…”.

Well I suppose it is just my problem. But I feel that motherhood is one of the most exhausting role that I have undertaken, although I have help on the domestic front. As a mother, I feel the pressure to put my child as a main priority, ahead of everything else, and there is a danger of only focusing on this role of being a mom and nothing else. My life does evolve largely around K (dh can strongly attest to that), although I am aware that I need to strike a balance. Be it other things to focus on or other priorities that I can invest time and emotions in.

For a fact, I do know that time with dh have been sacrificed with the arrival of K. That’s one of the key reasons why having another child is such a difficult decision for me. People always say, ‘Have a kid, complete your married life,’ however, no one mentioned the ‘but-s’. I do know a couple of friends whose relationship with their spouse have suffered with the onset of kids.

So then I ask myself, am I one of those moms that lead a life that only evolve only around my child? I recently completed this tag on Facebook “25 random things about me”, and I am proud to say only 3 points were related to my role as a mom. The rest of the 22 points were all about me, myself and I (never felt so relieved upon realising that I am rather self-centred…)

To have made the decision to quit my fairly well paid, full time job and be around for K about 8 months ago, was one of the toughest choices I have made in my life. But would I have done it any differently? Probably not.

Apart from being a full time mom and wife, I have discovered many passions since I have stopped working full time. I am an amateur photographer, a writer, an avid reader, an internet addict and recently, a small business owner (especially for those days that I need some encouragement).

“Instead of looking at life as a narrowing funnel, we can see it ever widening to choose the things we want to do, to take the wisdom we’ve learned and create something.” ~ Liz Carpenter

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