A Mom-of-One’s take on a self-absorbed Mothers’ Day Week

For a mom-of-one, the season for craving to have another child comes along every once in a while, especially when a friend just had a baby and another just got pregnant with her second.

Looking at lovely photos of the precious little infant of a few days old with their eyes closed, looking so vulnerable tends to heighten my desire of having another child. Then I should go have another child? Don’t ever say that to me, as I might just go psycho on you. Let me correct that, I never go psycho on anyone (except my hb, and rarely on K), you will likely get a stoned-face expression from me as this is a question that I am tired of answering.

A conversation on Regina‘s Facebook status made me cry last Thursday.

Screen Shot 2013 05 02 at 5 35 35 PM

Yes, it did, Regina.

Like I couldn’t control this sadness that was overwhelming me. I would like to blame it on PMS, except that PMS already happened 1 week ago. There are some things that we tend to push it at the back of our minds as we don’t want to think about it, this is one of those things for me. Somehow it has been alot more pronounced lately.

Last night I started thinking about it again, as I was contemplating if I should come public with this on my blog. Drenching my pillow with my wet tears, while at the same time, admonishing myself “You stupid over-emotional woman, cry for what. Forget about this thought, I am sure God has His reasons for you not having another child. You are not meant to be a mom-of-more-than-one. You are meant to do something else with your life, and stay as a Mom-of-one. Get it?” Yeah. Like what. I still haven’t found an answer to that.

Maybe it’s because its Mother’s Day soon, and I am just too self-focused. Mothers’ Day is not just about me, it about my mom (with 3 kids btw), and my grandmothers (who all had more than 5 kids at each side) and the majority of moms in the world with more than 1 child :( :( :(

Just have to forget Mothers’ Day for a moment.

And think about why I am being an over-emotional mom. The emo-feeling has been alot more pronounced this year likely because this is K’s last year into pre-school and he will be going to Primary 1 next year. And I don’t want Primary 1 to happen. But it is going happen, whether I like it or not. I often catch myself looking at K with this wistful look in my eye, with the same words run through my head, like a broken recorder, begging, “Please don’t grow up so fast.” And it gets worse when my thought start to wonder, “I wonder how K’s brother or sister will look like, I think he/she will be just as endearing as this little guy.” Then the rational woman in me, will go, “I think its better that you stop over-thinking, as it will never happen.”

I don’t know if this sort of things happens to moms with more 1 child. But as a mom-of-1, I always tell myself that I will make a lousy mom-of-2 or more, as I will be too overwhelmed with having to take care of two kids. But who am I kidding? It’s just sour grapes speaking here. If I was privilege enough to have another child, God will make it possible for me to manage parenting more than 1 child.

As the week of Mothers’ Day comes around. If you are a mom with one child, a mom with many kids, dwell and appreciate this great blessing to have children and an even greater privilege to shepherd them. So do not reflect on the ‘could-have, would-have, should-have’ moments that u regret making when it comes to having more than one child. Maybe is a good time also to think about your priorities as a mom to your kids?

As for this mom-of-one, I should just start making a point to a better mom and make sure that every second I spend with K really counts, and stop wasting my mom-time. After all, I still might have some time left over to make this world a better place for all. Right.

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An Ode to Six

Kyle 1

Six oh six, it has been difficult to watch you grow up

My parenting skills have been put to the test

Every single day

And I wonder if this is my best

 

Six oh six, you are still very much a child

And a precocious one indeed

But being a typical boy,

Often you hear, but pay no heed

K2

Six oh six, you are sociable and friendly

When anyone can be your best friend today

But friendship can sizzle

Just as easily the next day

 

Six oh six, developing a sense of right or wrong

Seems to come so naturally

All you need is some nudging from me

But time and getting organized is still abstract, possibly?

K1

Six oh six, you are a very funny little person

Have very clear preferences for the things that you like

Spy stories, drawing and making up your own songs

Always making me laugh at the stories that you write

K5

Six oh six, to make this memorable year for you and me

I cannot forget to encourage

And be there to support

Of all your inspirations, of every little sort

 

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It’s Time to Re-Invent Singapore’s Education for our Children

Reading this on Today online yesterday, made me want to run out to set up a Lemonade stand for K right outside our estate this weekend, and share tips with him on entrepreneurship.

LemonadePhoto credit of Lemonade Stand – Pinterest

My only problem :

1. Most Singaporeans don’t drink Lemonade

2. The process of applying for a food shop license from National Environment Agency (NEA) will be too much of a hassle for profits of < $20.00

3. I might get complaints from some retiree staying in the vicinity who thinks that I am exploiting my 6 year old to earn money for me

How about selling packet drinks of local favorites on a really hot day. Now, I wonder if I still need to get a food license for that?

Book Smarts vs Street Smart

Mr Tony Wagner, a Harvard Education specialist put it very aptly in this article, ‘because knowledge is available on every Internet-connected device, what you know matters far less than what you can do with what you know…The capacity to innovate — the ability to solve problems creatively or bring new possibilities to life — and skills like critical thinking, communication and collaboration are far more important than academic knowledge. As one executive told me: ‘We can teach new hires the content, and we will have to because it continues to change, but we can’t teach them how to think — to ask the right questions — and to take initiative.’

There you have it. Most of us know how to use google search effectively, but how do you use that knowledge that you found or learnt?

Singapore children have no lack of knowledge when it comes to many things, and globally our country is a success story when it comes academic achievements. But with that vast knowledge that they have acquired in schools, how many are able to use that knowledge acquired from schools in real life?

Makes me wonder if these shortfalls in our education system have been the very reason our country has brought us to where we are today, to be so dependent on foreign talent for so many of our white-collared jobs.

Can’t find a job? Invent one.

Initiative, innovation and motivation do pay off for most who are starting their own business, however, Mr Wagner didn’t add that, everyone will need opportunities to present themselves. You can try to comb out the niches in every industry or be that blessed few to wait for it to come your way by chance. And I am certain it will help that your have tons of cash stashed away and are prepared to run losses in the first 1-2 years of the business.

How many Singaporeans are willing to take the path less trodden i.e., entrepreneurial path, and be willing to take risks and work hard for it? Making a quick buck don’t happen easily these days, unless you are planning some elaborate Ponzi scheme.

Has Singaporeans’ obsession with academic achievements blinded-sided our motivation, initiative, our critical thinking and collaboration skills? Is being comfortable-with-status quo and not-hungry-enough a problem for us?

Well last year, I needed a job. My first instinct was to look for one, simply because being an employee was perceived to be more secured, besides, a job under employment paid many times better vs a small work-at-home business. But there wasn’t any job available, so I invented one by myself.

Simply because I was at the right place, at the right time, it helped that I was hungry (i.e,. no choice) and had nothing to lose. Of course by taking chances meant that I had to make sacrifices and learn to live with less.

Why wait? Re-invent Singapore’s Education

Ministry of Education, have you read this article from Today?

Do learn from countries like Finland, which is ‘…one of the most innovative economies in the world…and it is the only country where students leave high school ‘innovation-ready. They learn concepts and creativity more than facts…all with a shorter school day, little homework and almost no testing.’

I think it’s about time that you re-invent our education system for our kids! Have a balanced curriculum where children have less rote learning and are given more opportunities to learn practical and creative life skills.

And ‘Tiger Mothers’? How many more tuition classes have you signed up for your kids this year?

I am no ‘Tiger Mother’ for sure and I am wondering if I can be successful in keeping tuition at bay for as long as possible, when K starts primary school in 2014.

As for helping him to develop his entrepreneurial skills, we are going to have to play Monopoly and open his snack shop a lot more in the coming evenings. The rules of the game? No sore losers, no cheating and the customer is always right. Learn through play first before we get to the real stuff.

Looks like we are going to be making some money very soon.

Money1 3

Here’s some useful articles on teaching your child Entrepreneurship :

10 Steps to Teaching your Kids to become Entrepreneurs

Cultivating Entrepreneur Skills in our Children

Entrepreneurship is Child’s Play

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