Wednesday 19 June 2013. Outside, through in the light of day, a thick blanket of haze shrouded Singapore, all we saw of the sun, was a ponderous circle without edges. Even the birds seemed to have quieten in the mornings. When it became dark, the brown-yellow light of the haze lingered around the rim of buildings and our homes.

Singapore skyline on 21st June (skyline photo by Channel News Asia, PSI 400 illustration by Klipsch SEA FB page)

Some measure of distress and helplessness enveloped most of us, and anger was invoke due to fear. Most of us started to question why and how this could have happened, and found ways to deal with it by keeping themselves safe in our homes, scrambled to get masks to protect ourselves, while others started looking for blame. Some with businesses took this opportunity to stock-pile masks and earn a tidy profit selling them to people desperate to buy them.

Apart from taking the necessary precautions to reduce spending time outdoors, and getting some N95s from my weekend grocery trip. I wondered to myself how many of us was able to look past the problem quickly, and not dwell on this difficult situation and it’s limitations, and not feel a certain degree of being victimized by the authorities. Are we too overwhelmed by the negativity from this situation, getting too obsessed with tracking the PSI numbers, and not think about how we able to overcome or bounce back from this stress in our lives?

As parents, it’s natural for us to want to protect our children from harm. When the PSI climbed we worry about their exposure to the haze for short trips outdoors, we fret when we realized that there wasn’t a mask situable for their use. Then when we finally got a mask that they could use, we lost our temper when our child refused to don the mask. Imagine how much anxiety, confusion your child may be experiencing, even thought we know that all we wanted to do through our actions, was to find solutions to deal with this problem!

If we look beyond our little red dot, we will see that life is more turbulent than it has ever been for many of our fellow humans in many parts of the world. Just this week in the news, there have been floods, more floods, chaos from protests, sudden hurricanes, war and rumors of war.

As I am writing this post, the skies in Singapore seemed to have cleared up this weekend, but there is no reason why we should continue to take things we have for granted.

Life is uncertain, and being in a country like Singapore. We have been really blessed and sheltered from most disasters so far. Will this security remain? No one knows what is in store for us in the months and years to come.

Helping our children deal with uncertainties

How are we helping our children to deal with turbulence in our lives? Can we give them the right ‘tools’ to deal with this difficulty? And it really possible to be happy and peaceful in the midst of our difficulties?

We can start by changing our outlook and attitudes. See past the problems even when we are caught in the difficult situation, accept that life is challenging and ever changing, and tell our children that we can cope with these changes and challenges.

Like what we have heard before, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Cut out fear and negative thoughts, be aware of your attitudes, what you are saying, refrain from complaining. Stay positive, as negative thoughts will cause you to falter and breed bitterness and hopelessness.

With any challenge that may come your way, respond by hugging your child more, holding hands. Find ways you can be thankful together from your lives, and not focus on the negatives that are beyond your control and move on.

P.S. Our family is experiencing a painful period at this point of our lives, and under-going many changes. But I am thankful for my parents unrelenting support during this time, K’s resilience in handling it and most of all, God’s grace and mercy to see us through.

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