Our Pediatric Opthamologist Experience

M was the first Opthamologist that we visited for a diagnosis of K’s condition, while F was the second Opthamologist we consulted for a second opinion.

What triggered the need to get the second opinion? Here’s what happened;

M had many Optometrists and Opthalmic Technicians working with him and plenty of patients. His Optometrists were thorough, as K underwent at least 6 different eye tests which took them 1.5 hours.

The consultation session with M lasted an average of 10 minutes each visit. He did not do any tests and his diagnosis of K was largely dependent on the results that was given to him by his optometrists. I think with his high volume of patients, it got too tedious to do the eye tests himself.

He answered the queries hb and I posed during both visits and quickly explained his diagnosis and proposed treatment, and then passed us some literature to read up in detail about K’s eye condition.

K went through similar tests in our second visit and consulted with M, however, we went away feeling rather unsure despite having the M answer some new queries we had for him at the the second visit.

We were given the prescription for K’s glasses just moments before we paid at the reception area, and was surprised to see that the results from from this prescription deviated greatly from the results of our first visit. We left the clinic wondering if there could have been some mixed up.

When we finally got K’s new glasses, he struggled with blur vision from wearing the glasses, and that really got us wondering if the Optimetrists could have made an error with the prescription. I call M’s clinic, M’s Optimetrist retuned the call and explained to me that the higher degree was needed to correct the Ambloyopia in his left eye. She was not able to answer the question we had about his blurred vision with the glasses. That was when hb and I realized we needed to get a second opinion.

F had many patients too, but she did a vision test for K when we were in the consultation room, and did not solely depend on the tests results done by her Optometrist. Her consultation sessions lasted for close to 20 minutes each time, and there were two consultation sessions with her in that one visit with her. She thoroughly explain why K was given the recommended treatment by M and how she concurs with it. She went on to explain why K was given a higher prescription in his glasses which were needed to correct his Ambloyopia in his left eye and further demonstrated how the glasses can help. She pre-empted us (without being asked) that K might struggle with blur vision even with the glasses for about a week, so we needed to give it some time for his eyes to adjust to the vision.

F asked hb and I if we wanted to continue with M, or if we preferred to come back to her for K’s treatments. Hb and I glance at one another and replied in unison that we will be bringing K back to see her instead.

We were pleasantly surprised when we were presented with the bill at the counter, F’s consultation fee was approximately 30% the cost of M’s consultation fee, and that was when I felt major dissonance from our visits to M.

 

 

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The Entitlement Mentality can start at 5

Most of our children these days have things served on a platter to them. Enrichment classes like sports, swimming, art, music, dance which were major bonuses to have when I was growing up, has become a must-have for most children. I would not even go into the area of things, as I know most kids I know (including my own child) have too many toys and clothes.

Entitlement mentality can start really young with children these days. It may not be as defined as, “My parent’s owe this to me as they brought me into the world, what I have is what I deserve and it is mine”. But there are many signs of child taking these privileges for granted when they see their peers enjoying similar privileges.

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I have found out recently from K, that at 5, he already knows how to take some things for granted. He tends to treat his enrichment classes as a given, since most of his classmates have enrichment classes in school and are attending various classes on weekends.

It started with his Tennis lessons that he attends with Spex. He was enjoying the social interaction he was having with his friends in the class and he stopped paying attention to his coach. All it took was a short chat an afternoon before his class. We told him that we will stop the class immediately if he did not make the effort to pay attention and listen. It costs money for his grandparents sponsor his class so he needs to make an effort to learn, not just focus on having fun with his friends. Hb and I made him understand that these enrichment classes were not something we wanted him to do, but a privilege for him to attend as he enjoyed playing tennis.

Some parents might tell me to take it easy since it is just sports enrichment. But I need to teach my child about good work ethics, to be responsible and independent, to try his best at whatever he has been privileged to have. This also applies to things that he doesn’t like to do; helping around the house, cleaning up after play, etc. All these things needs to be done without having to whine or complain and he needs to make sure he does a good job at it.

If I don’t address this now, he will gradually become a teenager/young adult with the entitlement mentality. And I think teaching my child these things really cannot wait.

I hear this quite often from people from my parent’s generation, “He is still young, slowly teach him. When he reach a certain age, he will understand.” When children were ‘forced’ to help their parents make a living during the 50s – 60s. They could learn from real life experience that hard work is needed to bring home every cent, every bowl that the parent fills with rice.

There seems to be less learning opportunities for our children, simply because our world have changed. Children are being institutionalized in school at a tender age and are very sheltered. And since there also fewer children in most families, children are treated like little princes and princesses and are freely given most things that they want.

Can we raise privileged children without the entitlement mentality? Do share your thoughts here.


 

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Officially Bespectacled

Phf 1

This photo was taken while K was undergoing his eye training session doing what he likes best; sketching. His right eye was covered with the eye patch, while he struggled through blurred vision from his left eye adjusting to the prescription from the glasses.

I feel mixed emotions as I see this photo, as my baby has grown up overnight to an ‘Ah Pek’ wearing those glasses :(. But at the same time, I will embrace these changes, as he is still my precious little boy, despite these imperfections.

It has been a challenging 2 weeks, with the doubt flooding hb’s and my mind when we first got the diagnosis, but after seeking a second opinion, it’s official that K has Accomodative Esotropia and Amblyopia.

The first few eye training sessions have been difficult, as K was crying out of frustration of not being able to see clearly with the eye patch and he struggled with adapting to glasses. Each time he cried bitterly, I hugged him tight and and assured him, “Mommy will do this with you ok? Be brave and we will do this together, your eyes will get better.”

Then we read picture books from the library with stories of kids with the same eye condition, which he could totally relate to.

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And another book that showed that it wasn’t too bad to be wearing glasses.

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After a week of eye training sessions, I found this drawing of a little guy nestled in his superhero sketches…

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I asked him, “Who is this?” And he said, “It is me, Mommy.”

So what did I see in this drawing?

I know he has fully accepted his self-image when he can translate his new bespectacled self in his drawings. And at the end of the day, that imperfection is just a little part of him. K has Esotropia and Amblyopia. He is still my adorable and handsomest son, a cheeky piggy, my little artist and a super sports boy. And I know he is going to be ok.

 

 

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