I don't live a perfect life.
In fact none of us in this world do. Neither am I that fabulous parent with a perfect child, who is always obedient and a dream to teach. Many times I think I move through this parenting journey through alot of trial and error. Often I fail to manage my child well and I know I have a challenging child who tests his limits all the time.
However I have no qualms sharing my challenges openly on this blog. I believe in being honest with myself, as well as with friends that read this blog. There are many parenting blogs that I have come across, that seem to portray such perfect children and the parent seems to be such 'enlightened' parents, knowing exactly what to do to nurture inquisitive and intelligent children, performing far ahead of their peers. It's all about the results, most will say. Being a good parent is all about setting your child to be a high performer and nurturing him/her for a life of success in their adult years. Some others advise, If you can't deliver good enough results, outsource it to the 'experts'.
Can the roles of parenting be outsourced to the experts? Maybe if it is possible, I believe some parents will surely consider this option. With the onset of conception, each parent is entrusted with a life to love, protect, guide and nurture. Contrary to what the world have programmed for most of us to think, a good parent is not just one who is able to develop an obedient child, or one who have succcessfully brought up an over-achiever to perform beyond the list of capabilities that the parent has set out for every stage of his/her life. If parents are being evaluated on these deliverables, I think many of us would have failed terribly in our role as a parent.
Whether we chose fulfill this role or not, all parents are the first teachers for their children, and I think every parent is more than capable to be that effective teacher. Don't let anyone discredit your ability. Just because the results are not ideal for that moment, it does not mean that a parent should throw in the towel and give up fulfilling their nurturing role. Don't let the world's negative standards get to you when they say that you are not doing well enough.
Parenting is rewarding, but it is also a hard and a testing journey at times. But I take heart in these trials. Not that I am a masochist and like to myself and others to be tortured. But I believe that each and every parent is entrusted with the child for the purpose of pruning our character. I know that I am being pruned to create fruit in my life. Pruning involves cutting and breaking of branches, that can hurt, but growth comes.
This pruning is done with tender care by the master gardener who knows what to do to produce the best crop, the best growth. I need God to shape me more and more to bear fruit of love, patience, peace and self-control.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me – 2 Corinthians 12:9
I enjoyed reading your blog and the ups and downs of raising a child. My blog would probably be classified under your definition of “perfect parenting and children” haha. Of course I am not a perfect parent (far from one!) and neither are my kids. I never intend to ‘show off’ that was the last thing I wanted to be perceived at, in fact their ‘achievements’ may not be that great compared to other children. I chose to blog more on the positive sides of parenting and their acheivements, because the blog is dedicated to my children and when they read them, I wanted them to feel that we always look at their positive sides and not hang on to their ‘not-so-desirable’ points. Of course to each his own, it’s a personal blog right? I sincerely look forward to more sharing from you Three cheers to parenthood!
I think everyone is entitled to put whatever they want in their blog, some choose to be more positive like you, while I choose to share all ups and downs of parenting. It helps me reflect when I do that, and makes me appreciate the good days. Thanks for your encouragement
Great entry, Rachel! I share your thoughts that as parents, we should first try to teach and nurture our children – the values system, the ethics in life and life skills. As for the academics, once they get the foundation right from young (again, with our nurturing), I believe half the battle is won, because I believe children learn best with loving, giving parents Good work on your parenting – I think you are doing a great job with your son!
Thanks Linette for your encouragement. Yes, we may not be that perfect teachers who achieve fantastic results in our children, but I think with our desire + passion to teach our kids, the kids will still learn. I think some parents who think they cannot teach or fail in their attempts, usually do not have the right techniques, knowledge or simply do not go with the interests of the child. You are doing fantastically well w your two little bees…especially since you are also juggling a full time job at the same time. I really respect your commitment and your desire to want to teach your little ones!