Having a website on home-learning with kids made me realise how much focus parents place on certain areas when it comes to educating a child.
When we write about topics on general education; e.g., learning how to read (especially), the page views are all time high. Even topics of Math learning are less of interest versus articles about learning how to read.
Is learning how to read the panacea to educating a child? Hearing from a perpective from a middle aged lady with grown up children (my mom), she thinks that the child will be able to learn everything once they can read. Not to be-little her knowledge or her attitude towards child rearing, but I beg to differ.
Recently K surprised me by reading out the word 'GO' on a road sign. I have been teaching him the alphabetic principle and he knows almost 75% of the alphabet sounds, and somehow, something clicked in his understanding of how letters blend together to make words. He is showing signs of reading readiness and probably some parents in this situation might plan a full curriculum at home to ensure that he is exposed to sight words and will give him lots of new letters to learn and blend. Or maybe even reading the same books repeatedly and daily so that he will soon be able to read a 32 page book aloud by himself.
Am I not excited discover this development or motivated to hasten the progress? Indeed I am pleased to see some 'fruits' of my labour in my home-learning with him, but nothing much has changed. I still plan to take it at snail's pace, ensuring that he thoroughly enjoys the learning the remaining 25% of the alphabet sounds, read lots of new books every other week, play lots of learning games and have still plenty of time for free play. In reality, we spend less than 1.5 hours a week (cumulative) on home-learning.
Some might think that this almost like mis-representation for someone who has a home-learning site. Shouldn't home-learning be done on a daily basis to ensure that the child acquires the learning? For a young child, learning sessions are best managed within 15-30 minutes each time and will be most effective when it is child-led. In other words, K needs to be in the mood to do the learning activities, and his interest and learning is most effectively acquired when he is the one that initiates the activity.
I place his learning activities in file drawers in his room, and he helps himself to the activities whenever he feels like playing with the 'games'. For K, all these learning activities are games and not work. Every once in a while, when I feel that I need to allocate some free play time to learning, that's when I will initiate for him to do some activities with me. So far, this method works brilliantly for K.
There is really so much more than to learning how to read. Reading is just a small part of educating a whole child.
We have started listening to Bach in the car, will then slowly progress to Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikowsky, Handel and Debussy. Read books on how honesty is important, how helpfulness is a virtue, learning how to respect others and himself, share and develop self-control. We are exploring new mediums to use in art, spending less time in craft. His art is still looking like multi-colored large blob plus lots of squiggles, and I have to make a point to remind myself that is the process and not the product that matters.
We will be resuming our nature walks on Saturday mornings, going for more excursions and spending more time talking about the wonders of God's creation, as well as our Creator's unrelenting love for us. Spend a more time dabbling in science experiments, training him to dawdle a little less and help around the house a little more. Reading books and more books on new concepts, countries, people of different cultures and creating lapbooks to accompany the books.
He can't read a 32 page book by himself (regardless of whether it is a brand new book or a book that he has seen countless of times). Neither can he read a simple sentence, as the only word he can read at this moment is 'Go'. He can't count to 100 either, in fact, not even 11-20 without getting the numbers mixed up. But he can recognise rhyme, knows the beginning sounds to words, knows spatial relationships, classification, patterning and one-to-one correspondence, and progressively, more concepts. Nonetheless, I am certain that he is having lots of fun doing all of that.
He can hit the golf ball fairly well with his golf clubs and manage a simple tennis volley with his grand-dad. Sports is still an area where I have yet to determine if it is his gift or just advanced motor skills, but I will be making sure that he will be spending a little more time in that area to ensure that he does not grow to become a pudgy 6 year old.
Is there a need for haste when we can both enjoy the bonding and the joy that learning can bring?
This post will serve as a reminder that I should never be caught up in societal expectations or be swayed by what everyone else is doing with their kids.
jus last evening, dylan took out a book from his cardboard and asked me to read with him. he surprised me when he read out loud a few simple words. and i taught him further on how to blend the sounds to form new words – we had a great learning time together. it’s the bonding and fun that kept us going on for the next 20 mins or so.
I’m not on the ball in teaching him, partly due to my own stuff. but what took place last night when he initiated, it was a great time spent together. and i agree on teaching at the child’s pace, be it on reading or other learning skills, for only with a ready and willing heart and mind, will the joy of learning reach its maximum. 😀
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..We – the Japanese Food Fans Family =-.
I think most of us parents tend to get kan cheong when it comes to education for our kid, especially when we start to see other kids who are way ahead in terms of their academic development 😛 It is important that we don’t get so caught up in it, in turn create that stress for our child to perform. Learning can be enjoyable and it voices down to the attitude that we nurture in our kids towards learning and there is really no need for rush.
I agree, no need for haste, but more need to enjoy the process rather than the product. I guess nowadays parents are more concerned about tangibles like the ability to read rather than other experiences equally important, like music appreciation etc. You really are doing a great job bringing up your boy!
.-= Jus´s last blog ..How to catch a star =-.
Thanks Jus. I am very influenced by the Charlotte Mason education method of nurturing the whole child, so I think the other areas of music, nature, art, character development, general knowledge, outdoor time (sports) is very important. Without giving your child enough exposure to these other areas, and just focusing on academics, it will be hard to discover the other gifts he might have. Learning according to your child’s interest and pace can be enjoyable for the child and rewarding for us parents, so we should really enjoy the process!
Hi to that!
Love what you wrote about the “Process not Product” reminder.
Though I constantly and conscientiously remind myself of this yet..I can’t help but feel that as R grows…. society expects the product not the process. Something Quatifiable, tangible to ‘prove’ the effort, the success.
sad isn’t it?
But I am trying.
.-= kole´s last blog ..Muses- Expedition to Kuantan Day 1 and 2 =-.
That’s the nature of society, it thrives on achievement, success and competition. This could be why more people are living stressed up lives, spending more time at work and focusing on the more tangible rewards. We need to constantly remind ourselves what matters most; living our lives according to societal expectations or going for what will fulfill us the most? It is a hard choice for many, and plenty fall victim to what everyone is doing, thinking that it is the best choice.
Most of us tend to get a bit extreme when it comes to making that decision for our child, for example, ensuring that my kid is ready for primary one, rush him through education ensuring we get the ‘product’, then neglecting the process and all the other areas that is just as crucial in developing a child. I have decided to use a whole child approach to bring up Kyle, giving him more opportunities in other areas to develop his interest, character and abilities, yet still have to constantly remind myself that the focus cannot be only on academic skills.
Like u, it is also a learning process for me daily.
As for me, I think I belong to those kind of impromtu mom, or maybe lazy mom , haha… I don’t really enforce any kind of learning activities with him everyday, so much so that I think his development is lacking behind a lot of his peers. Even things like motor skills, he is also lacking – he still can’t hold pencils/scissors properly at this age! 😛 I always thought these will be naturally acquired without having me to hasten the process… but maybe I’m wrong? He has too much free play at home. The only learning he has was those Chinese words/ colours/ days of week that I did for him eons ago… and it just stopped there! Sigh! I’m actually feeling very guilty about it. Yes, the societal/peer pressure is definitely there! And I think my too “bochap-ness” is not doing him any good. I should not hasten the process but should definitely be doing some meaningful learning with him on a weekly basis?? Sigh… just too lazy/tired to do anything.
.-= Tin´s last blog ..Passing phase in life =-.
Actually there is nothing wrong with having lots of free play at home, kids learn alot through play. But at the same time, try to see if you can take advantage of their capacity to learn new things and their inquisitiveness at preschool age. Home-learning is a very effective way that can help u achieve this while having time to bond with Kai at the same time. One of the reason that I advocate home-learning is that I do not want school (probably not pre-school yet) to be too much focused on the deliverables and possibly neglect the process of creating that joy of learning for my child. Learning can be very fun and enjoyable and I think home-learning is the best way to show my child that.
Hi there,
I am a first-timer stumbled upon your wonderful blog.
I was totally amazed and couldn’t agree more on your attitute towards a child’s learning. It’s such a rare find in Singapore (or in Asian in a broader sense) for someone who pratices and believes in such a parenting style (as opposed to all the kiasu-ness). I would certainly bookmark your side and come back for more (hope you don’t mind if I link yours to my blog)! Reckon I have lots to learn from you since my kids are younger than yours.
After reading your comment above, I googled to learn about the Charlotte Mason education method, and found this is the Wikipedia – “Two key mottos taken from those principles are “Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life” and “Education is the science of relations.” She believed that children were born persons and should be respected as such; they should also be taught the Way of the Will and the Way of Reason. Her motto for students was “I am, I can, I ought, I will.” I will keep this in mind.
Keep up your good work!
Hi Kam, thanks for dropping by my blog and really appreciate your comments
I am still learning everyday when it comes to parenting and educating my child. It’s easy for us Singaporean parents to get caught up in what almost everyone else is doing with their kids, but many times we need to remind ourselves if it is really the best for our child. The early years + childhood is a short and transient time, and this is the time when the mind is the most absorbent. Having a balanced approach to education will help to nurture a child who is not just ‘book smarts’, but someone who will learn to better appreciate his/her environment, nature and life in general.
Hi, thanks for sharing your views on education. After reading this post, I feel that there’s really so much more involved in learning than just reading books. Agree that’s it’s an entire lifestyle, and when we succumb to external pressures, we may inadvertently pass on these pressures to the child. Mine is not even 3 y.o. yet and I’m beginning to feel these things. Have to keep reminding myself not to be swayed too!
Hi June. Totally agree with you that it is very tough not be swayed by the rest of the people around us. It gets even worse when our children go into primary school..that’s when the going gets really tough for not only the child but also the parent.